hatred for dland...
@ 9:38 am on January 23, 2005

Finally! Diaryland is back up and running. It was really pissing me off. I was about to change to diary-x if diaryland didn't straighten up today.

Anywho- Christi and I are cool again. I think it was more of a case of miscommunication than anything. Sometimes I jump to conclusions and get pissed off before I know all the facts. But yeah, we are cool again.

I was getting pretty annoyed with David. I felt like he wanted me to find a place for him to live these last few weeks and I really couldn't do anything. My hands were tied. He called the coppers on his mom last night because she wouldn't give him his stuff. The cops gave her a talking to. Now he is living with his sister and nephew. His brother called and threatened death upon him if he fucked with any of them. I think his whole family lacks tolerance and sanity.
[including him...]

Anyways, I'm worried about Christina a bit. Ryan is being a dick to her again. He's avoiding having sex with her ... it just worries me that he's going to fuck her over again. Christina can do so much better. She's got awesome character, she's beautiful, and she deserves to be treated like a queen. Ryan isn't really doing that anymore- or so it seems.

Chris is on the suicide gig again. He's saying that he wishes he'd never wake up when he goes to sleep at night. What a freak... apparently I'm not ready to deal with his baggage... oh well, I'd sleep with him again anyways. We've been talking about it... I'm on birth control now. My mom doesn't know - a friend gave me some and i've been taking it. I think I should go to planned parenthood and get a prescription.

Warren is such a darling to me. I ♥ him. He treats me like a princess. I really like him- I just never get to see him. He works 9 to 5 shifts - even longer sometimes. He's an accountant or something like that. Financial advisor maybe. He's trying out for the Broncos NFL team in March. That'd be cool if he got it. I'd fuck him...lol...jk [kind of]...

I feel like I could become the biggest whore now and it wouldn't make a hell of a difference. Sex just is so unemotional for me. I felt so numb when I was having sex with Chris. I don't see that changing. I mean it could have been because I don't love him...but I'm not sure. I mean everybody makes mistakes - I think I was meant to make that mistake - sleeping with him. I feel like I know another part of myself now that I didn't before...maybe it was better left astranged though.

Monica and I are probably going to do something this weekend. She's awesome. She's like the school's pimpette [except she gets all the shitty guys - besides Danny]
Seth keeps asking her out. He's like two years younger than her. He's like 'Monica, on a scale from one to ten how much do you like me?' She just started laughing. That girl is awesome. David likes her too - but I think he's taking the hint that she wouldn't ever go out with him - especially since he dated Evergreene - she hates Evergreene.

Monica is so quiet too so when she bashes Evergreene the fucking tree can't hear her but I always can. She's a funny lass.

I'm not working again until Tuesday. I like these hours. Work 6 hours a week - easy as cake. I just need to start making payments on the $163.00 I owe the courts. + I owe stupid Matt $150.00 for a loan he gave me over xmas.

Carl came over on Friday and we talked about my mom's stress levels. He gives me insight as to how my mom is feeling. She flipped out on me on Friday. Scared the bejesus out of me. Her main stressers have to do with Danielle - so I'm in the clear. I guess as long as I know she's not pissed at me I can take her anger on.

I'm fucking sick of Danielle. Her prancing around with her fucking boyfriend all the time. She has no life at all she lives through him. All she does is sleep in till about 2:00 pm everyday , talk to Matt on the phone, and hang out with Matt. She doesn't even have any friends of her own...she just mooches off of his. What pisses me off even more is that she's getting these checks from social security every month for disability for her bipolar disorder. She's too lazy to get a job- and people don't like her because she's an anti-social ugly bitch- so its hard for her to get hired. Danielle just pisses me the hell off. Sometimes I just want to beat the shit out of her. One day she'll get hers...
Oh well, everything is falling back into place again I suppose. I miss hearing from my dland buddies so leave me notes people!

xoxo,
brit

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