group home madness
@ 4:09 on July 23, 2005

Life has been different since I've lived in this group home...and in a way I think its a good kind of different.
I've come to realize that I do love my family but we just weren't meant to live together.
We can't live together anymore.
It is sad, but that's just the way it is.

I turn 18 in 92 days...
Hopefully I'll be out of the system...the system has fucked me.
I pray to god that everybody that is reading this keeps their families out of the system... the system brings nothing but more problems. I'd rather have kept on being beaten by my father than have had to be in this shit situation with DHS and probation.

There are lesbian relationships up the wazoo at my new home... I don't care though - it really doesn't phase me. I have made a couple of friends - they are actually more like sisters than friends ... but yeah.

There's Laleta aka. ADIDAS - she's 14 and I have her back like nobody else. Her life is already fucked up and has been...I want to be there for her...because I know the shit she's going through. I just want to be there for her - its something I never had.

Laleta and Amanda were dating but broke up the other day due to the fact that they were constantly arguing.

Amanda cracks me up - she's a nice girl but she has too many shields up to even attempt to get close to. I wouldn't call her fake - but she's treading near that.

Other girls that live with me are Monique [she's 12 and so damn perverted it makes me laugh]. Shellbee [she's the biggest bitch in the world and she's only 12 too.] Tyciougnnah [Ty for short - she's 17 and conceited as fuck...then again I never get on with black girls too well ... its just a thing.]
Shantell [she's 14 I like her but I don't at the same time...its complicated. She's going through a lot of the same shit I am...so I do feel for her. She can also open up like I never could and she makes me cry because of this on occasion.] Angela [she just turned 16 - I don't understand what planet this girl is from. She's really really weird...she doesn't even recognize that there are boys and girls on this planet...she doesn't like anyone...she's a-sexual maybe?]
Cindy [she's 16 and from CUBA she's really cool but she talks too much sometimes...she's really loud too. She taught me that CUKA is VAGINA in spanish]

I think that's it.

BUT I HAVE REALLY FUCKING AWESOME NEWS! I did get to see Richard for a few minutes one day - snuck it in...
He gave me a promise ring... as in a promise for marriage. I can't sleep without it or walk around without it. Its really pretty...
We are going to get married. I am so in love with him. Its hard being away from him like this ... I hope he stays loyal to me.

So I'm moving the rest of my shit over to the FUCK HOLE of a group home today because I'm on pass. Gay.

Well, I'm going to go now and cry that I can't see my Richie Pooh on my goddamn fucking pass...waaaa

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